My friend came to me today and told me that she needed my advice about this note she'd recieved. (Today is Thursday, she got it on Monday.) Apparently this cafeteria worker came up to her (she pointed him out, he looks about 30), said "I've been waiting for you" in heavily accented English, and handed her a folded-up piece of notebook paper. It's a really bizarre note. I don't have it with me, so I can't tell you exactly what it said, but here's what I remember: (what i remember of the exact words are in quotes)

"hi. My name is "EDWARD."" (yes, he used caps and quotation marks) you're a very beautiful and attractive girl. i would like to talk "and get to know you well . . . exchange ideas. it would be pleasant and enjoyable for to communicate by internet. my e-mail address is [i don't remember]@hotmail.com." looking forward to talking with you. best wishes. ""EDWARD"" (again in caps and quotation marks)

It was actually kind of amusing the first time I read it. But I'm not sure what to do about it. We're seventeen. It seems really strange to me for this guy to want to "exchange ideas" with my friend when he's never spoken to her and can't possibly be judging her my anything other than her physical appearance. I suggested that I go talk to the guidance counselor to ask her advice so my friend can be anonymous, but my friend doesn't want to "make it that serious" by talking to an adult. She hasn't even told her mom about it. She's too nervous to buy food now in case he's there. She hasn't said anything to him about it.

Just to set the background, we go to a really high-tech private school in a big city. It's small, about 450 students. We have security guards surrounding the school at all times and we have to swipe id cards at the entrances to get in, but it's a pretty safe place. We're allowed to leave school whenever we don't have class, like for lunch. This is not a normal thing.

I thought I'd ask you guys for advice because this is my favorite forum. I just don't know what to do. I'm not worried about what will happen to my friend because she's smart and she has friends to help her tell him no, but I am concerned about this guy's motives and whether he will bother someone else in the future. My group of school friends has narrowed the situation down to three possibilities, but we still don't know what to do.
1) - the current favorite - he's stupid, or just unaccustomed to Am. culture, and thinks it's normal for strange 30 year old men to want to "exchange ideas" with 17 year old girls. (I find this unconvincing because my friend had already refused to tell him her name when he asked, and whatever culture you're from you have to know that means the girl's not interested)
2) - he means something else entirely and just doesn't know how to express himself properly in english
3) - he is a strange creepy man with scary ideas who should be removed from our campus.

What do you guys think I should do?

He might be mentally disabled. You should immeditiately tell your parents and tell her to tell her parents. So that your parents can immeditiately take needed action.

Report Him. Believe Me, If It Gets Bad, Your Friend Will Regret Not Telling Anyone. A Thing Just Like Happened At My School, Only I Dont Know What Happened Afterward. Report The Lunch Person Man.

I would definitely tell a trusted adult at home and at school. Even if he's harmless, you'd want your friend to be safe.

I'd probably tell the principal. After all, that's the person who hires these people. If you tell your parents, or the guidance counceler, they are going to tell the principal anyways... Just skip the middle man stuff and go straight to the source. I mean, of course, she should tell her parents anyways, but you guys should also tell the principal... AND SHOW THEM THE NOTE so you have proof!

I think you should tell somebody. If a strange man who didn't work in your school gave you a note like that, you'd report him, right? Just because he works in your school doesn't mean he's any different from a stranger (you did say you don't know him, right?) Tell a principal, tell a counselor, tell somebody, because even if it turns out to be something harmless, it's better to be safe then sorry, right?

I talked to my friend and she still doesn't want to let me talk to the guidance counselor. She thinks everything will be fine if she just ignores the whole thing. He hasn't tried to talk to her again, she says. (But she hasn't gone near the cafeteria, so how can she know?) Should I let the whole thing slide?

He works there, it is wrong to approach one of the students like that.
And it is not true that in any culture, if a girl refuses to give her name, it's obvious that she's not interested and she should be left alone. There are a LOT of guys who think of it as a bigger challenge because a girl doesn't seem interested.
Tell the councellor or a social worker. Convince your friend that someone should know about this - because she's probably not the only one he approaches, and someone like that should not work in a school. Please don't let it slide, for the sake of other girls at your school.

Is she embarassed or something? She probably thinks if she tells someone that the whole school will end up finding out or something like that... Make sure she knows that when you tell an authority about stuff like that, it stays confidential.

I say go to the principal without letting her know... also, let the principal know that your friend has no idea you're there and she doesn't want anyone knowing it's her. Something should be said to someone.

Is she embarassed or something? She probably thinks if she tells someone that the whole school will end up finding out or something like that...
That's why if she IS embarassed you shouldn't give the principal names.

Don`t let him know an then go to the principal and tell him about it and he should be removed...ick ick.

she should go tell someone. I mean if she ignores it and he forgets about her, the guy could focus on someone else and if something happened, i think she would feel pretty aweful.
Need to get that guy out of there :/

I think, too, that even if she refuses to tell herself, that you should go to the cousellor or principaö and tell them what happened, of course making sure that they understand that you are there against her will. And you don't need to tell her name. But the worker should be reported, because under no circumstances should he approach pupils if he is working in a school.

And I think, because you know of the incident, you are responsible for the safety of you friend and other girls, too. Perhaps it is harmeless, but as others already said, better safe than sorry.
And the responsible person at your school will never know, if nobody tells them.

I think you already know the answer to your question ("Should I just let it slide?"), or otherwise you wouldn't have posted the situation to this forum. It needs to be reported regardless of whether the person involved wants it to be. It isn't about her - its about the strange man, and what he may be capable of. It's selfish of her to keep it secret because a lot of girls at your school could be in danger. If it turns out to be "no big deal", great. That man will learn never to write notes to underage girls again.

Here are my steps to get rid of the danger simply and safely:)

1.Tell a responsible adult about the problem,explain everything,leave out nothing
2.Talk to the girl that "EDWARD"thinks is attractive.Tell her this is serious and that she should tell her parents about it.
3.After the girl has told her parents talk to the principal about your concerns.Show him the note if it is not already been disposed of.
4.Have the principal investigate"EDWARD"
5.Have"EDWARD"removed
6.Live happily ever after.:)

And that`s all there is to it.

Ok well we all know it's wrong here, and you do too, i can tell... Anyway down to business. This girl is like your best friend right? because she told you and showed you. Now to me the fact she told you and didn't "just let it slide" says to me shes worried and wants to tell someone, even if she says otherwise. She also is avoiding the guy like crazy, ok she is definatly worried. I think in my opinion, no matter what she says, she does want you to tell someone, DEEP down otherwise if she really thought it was no big deal, she wouldn't have told you guys now would she?

Now I know you feel really obliged (spelling, im sorry i know its awful!) to your friend to keep her little secret. But as the past posts have said you should tell. Now heres another reason why.. She feels threatened by this man, she is avoiding him at all costs, to me it seems like shes alittle freaked out by it, (MORE than alittle - shown from her not wanting a fuss she doesn't want anything more to do with the guy at all) No one deserves that feeling, we all have the right to be happy and not feel that insecure she can even go and buy some food from the canteen or where ever. In the long run, she will be so much better off if you tell someone in confidence, no names, about the situation then he can be made to leave and she can get on with her life without weirdos asking to talk to her over the internet.

tell some1 immediately and get him fired, ive seen many cases like this

i think almost every hs in my area swipes id cards also, nyc skools can be very dangerous, i remember there was a 3 hour delay just to rescan the students after a fire, very fun

i remember there was a 3 hour delay just to rescan the students after a fire, very fun it really shouldn't take that long lol- even in my dorm (::sniff:: I'll miss it... I moved out yesterday :P) after evacuations it probably took no more than half an hour for 3 guards to get a total of around 1,800 people back into 3 different buildings. that's each person handing the guard their ID to have it swiped, not even swiping it yourself, which would probably be quicker.

that was even the first time, in the middle of the night, when most people were there. the power went out and nobody had any idea what was going on, so everyone left and had to get back in. other times the buildings have been evacuated either a lot of people are at class or stay because most of the time it's because someone burned popcorn... (if anyone was in danger it would be because there's a fire on their floor, the floor above, or the floor below, and individual alarms in each room go off on those 3 floors if that's the case)

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back to the topic:
someone should definately say something. that's creepy and could be really dangerous.

Hi Luzee12!

I know I am curious, but what did you finally do about the situation?
:confused: